Late to the party on finishing Lost Odyssey, I’ve decided to chronicle my adventure through each disc of the game. Kaim’s struggle resonates with me strongly and I’m hoping to figure out some lingering questions about my life by defeating this game.
This blog is entry 1 in a series of 4. After I complete each disc, I will give my reaction to it’s specific content. Think of this as an extended review or analysis.
My short life has been wrought with peril. Over the years, I’ve caused pain to others and committed petty crimes. I had to deal with a relative succumbing to a disease that slowly killed her. I saw my friend’s mom the night before she died, painfully gasping for air and clutching to a final straw of life.
Sadness permeates my life. Even the most mundane of insults will make me weep. When I do bring a smile to someone’s face, the elation that takes over me is unmatched. No matter how pitiful I may actually be, making another person happy is unmatched.
What if I had done this a thousand times before? What if I saw death frequently? What if I could never die? People and places and events would become meaningless over time. My own impact on the world would fade, yet I would still be cursed to walk.
These are some of the ideas brought up in the Mistwalker RPG, Lost Odyssey. Main character, Kaim Argonar, is an immortal. For him, time means nothing. He is in no hurry to do anything because life is an absolute dread for him.
After a rather hectic battle, the world of Lost Odyssey is struck with a meteor. Conjured by some form of magic, everyone in the vicinity is obliterated. Kaim, however, cannot die. He simply braces for impact and blacks out. Upon waking up, none of his memories are retained.
Over the course of the game, these dreams slowly return to Kaim. One of the first stories that come back to him hit me close to the heart. Kaim spends many years traveling and doing battle, living the life of a mercenary. He frequently visits a particular inn because of a special girl.
This girl was born with a disease that will eventually claim her life. She cannot travel or leave her hometown because of the inability to fend off sickness. Many travelers tell her stories of their various exploits, but Kaim takes a particular interest.
Kaim has seen centuries of anguish before his very eyes. He has taken countless lives on the battlefield. He has committed crimes that have ruined lives. For this sickly girl, though, Kaim decides to retell of the exuberant wonder of life in an effort to remind him of the love in the world.
When the girl is on her final breath, Kaim is filled with a deep sadness. For a human, death is but a mere sidetrack of life. When one dies, the thought of an afterlife gives them hope. No one is ever truly lost when death brings peace. Kaim will never have that, though.
I began to bawl my eyes out when I read through this story. While 25 might not be at the cusp of youth, I am still a young person. I have at least four more decades worth of life ahead of me. Will I be able to deal with such death again? Does the thought of my own death somehow make others more tolerable?
If I couldn’t die, would I be as cold and calculated as Kaim? The man still retains emotions like an average mortal, but is usually so cut off from regular expressions as to stand pale and stoic in the face of everything. Even anger is vague and futile to him.
More of his memories detail the loss of one of his families, a period where he was incarcerated and a short tale about how he restored hope in a lost child’s heart. These memories don’t percolate in his mind because of his emotions, though. He only remembers because they were brighter than the rest.
Living for a thousand years makes life insufferable. Why should one feel sick over the death of another? When you are tasked with living endlessly, death is simply old news. It will happen again and there will be no reprieve for you.
Somehow, Kaim is able to recall these thoughts. Even to a man who makes the word “ancient” seem young, these memories are stained into his mind. They remind me exactly of how I view my own past. The evil I have spread is seared upon on brain.
Happiness is but an unreachable goal. I know that I have experienced happiness before, but I just fail at conjuring that emotion anymore. Even with people I see regularly or hold dearly, I manage to shut them out and shelter myself.
When Kaim meets his grandchildren, he doesn’t even know how to compose himself. He is so detached from the very notion of love that he simply speaks sagely and then pats the kids on the head. He knows how they feel, but can’t recall how to express it with them.
Seeing his long-lost daughter finally triggers an outburst of sadness from Kaim. No matter how uneventful a death is, losing a personal loved one will never be easy. Kaim can’t even hold back the tears.
When all is said and done, depression isn’t the thought that remains in Kaim. Hope is what he has. Even though the passing of a love one temporarily hurts, the death brings hope for the future. These kids are not devoid of emotion and they will learn to move on.
Kaim will never experience an afterlife, but he can certainly make a person’s short time better. This shows me that I can, as well. Instead of focusing on how disgruntled I am or how painful life has been, if I center my life on making others happy, then nothing can truly be awful.
The first disc of Lost Odyssey has shown me how thankful I should be for my mortality. I still have enough sense left to realize even sadness. Without an eternal clock constantly losing precious seconds, I wouldn’t even be able to muster up ambivalence, let alone any strong emotions.
As I continue my journey with Kaim, hopefully uncovering his past will help me move on from the darkness in my own. No matter what Kaim has done, his present being is still righteous. I would consider myself the same way, as well.